By J. B. Cowling...
A state of completeness is one of satisfaction, acceptance and gratitude.
To understand the idea of completeness, we need to understand the term conceptually. When something is complete, it is ‘whole’ in itself, it can be no more in any given moment. The idea of completeness, in the context of people, refers to a state of being, a state of accepting that we can be no more than we are right now. We are already complete.
The most damaging manifestation of lacking, is when it develops in regards to our opinion of ourselves, when we see ourselves as incomplete.
Here's the thing that we fail to recognise - everything is always whole in itself. For example, take an apple, in itself it is ‘whole’. We know this because it fits idea of what an apple should be and as such it’s easy to accept as being complete. Now imagine that you have half an apple, it’s easy to see merely part of the complete picture, as though it is lacking something. But if what we are searching for is ‘half an apple’, then finding one is ‘whole’ in itself, a ‘whole’ half of an apple. If on this occasion we were to find a full apple, it would not be ‘whole’, rather different. Something cannot be more than it is or it would be something else. All that changes is our perception of what we are identifying. Pause here and think about this for a second because it’s a bit of a mind fuck.
The ‘whole’ of something is simply the entirety of that which has been identified, in whatever form that may be. What does that conceptual jiberish mean? Everything is whole or complete, it’s our perception that has been manipulated by our expectations that makes us think otherwise.
So why should we see things as whole and particularly ourselves as being complete? Because when we feel that we lack something, we act to ‘get’ rather than appreciate how things are, what we have. We often search for 'more' in life as if to somehow feel more complete.
We often act from two different states:
One of ‘lacking’;
One of ‘completeness’.
We often come from a place of ‘lacking’, as though we need more or need to be more. From this place, life is a constant struggle as nothing is ever enough. We put strict timeframes on things, become impatient and hold ridiculous expectations for ourselves and our lives. The most damaging manifestation of lacking, is when it develops in regards to our opinion of ourselves, when we see ourselves as incomplete.
Remember, nothing you do or obtain will make you ‘more’ as a person fundamentally or intrinsically. You are already complete, always have been, in this moment and the next. That’s why when you win the lotto, become famous or get that dream house, you feel no more ‘complete’ and often instead less. This is generally due to the fact that we believe our desires will bring us something that we need, that they will be the answer to the pain we are facing and will make us more. When we fail to obtain these things, we can blame our unhappiness on that which is outside of our control, that there is still an answer out there to solve all our shortcomings. When we however obtain these things and they do not solve our issues and make us ‘happy’, we become even more helpless. All this time we have believed that achieving these things would be the answer and as such, lose all hope and will to move forward. All our coping strategies have faded. If these things cannot help us, what can?
A state of completeness, now!
The antidote to a state of lacking, is awareness and appreciation. Awareness of the place we are acting from (whether that be from a state of lacking or of completeness) and appreciation of what we have right now. Just ask yourself ‘am I acting from a place of lacking or from completeness?’
This does not mean that you should stop moving towards or wanting things, rather that you just stop relying on the idea that they will make you more or take you closer to a state of completeness. From this place, the things that you commit to, you do for now, because they are aligned to you.
The things you work towards are opportunities to grow and evolve. You are exactly where you are supposed to be and have everything you need right now. When you embrace this concept, life opens up, you live. You take action aligned with yourself, without expectations of more. You are already complete - remind yourself.